Think about what holds you back from discussing DEIB issues

In my upcoming book, Design for Identity, I feature tips to Boost Your Culture Quotient, the combination of cultural awareness and cultural competence that enables us to live the values of DEIB. One of those tips focuses on giving and receiving correction.

One of the common hang-ups I hear from people in my DEIB work is that they’re hesitant to engage in dialogue about identity, culture, and difference because they don’t want to say the wrong thing. This is an understandable concern but if we keep using it as an excuse, we’ll never get any closer to bringing out meaningful outcomes for historically excluded people.

There is no magical list of the “right things” to say. All I can tell anyone is to avoid language you know to be flat-out derogatory, be thoughtful of your choice of words according to the identity of who you’re engaging with, and take the time to educate yourself and get historical context so you can learn why some language is offensive and harmful.

And we all need to practice addressing offenses in the moment – in a respectful way, like saying “Something you just said didn’t sit right with me and I’d like to run it by you.” And on the receiving end, we need to be prepared to respond with “Tell me more” and then listen to digest and process what we’re being told before responding.

Take some time to think about what’s holding you back from engaging in conversations about identity, culture, and difference and then pick one new tactic you’re willing to try to start getting in the dialogue. Maybe come up with one question you’re willing to ask in an upcoming team meeting or on a DEIB webinar you’ll be attending soon. Find a way to practice. That’s one of the best ways to start where you are.